Songs from the school yard

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The Anti-Crisst
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Songs from the school yard

Postby The Anti-Crisst » Sat Apr 22, 2017 3:15 pm

Or, alternatively, why British kids are rude as hell. :lol1 Below are all the songs that I and my mates can remember from long ago when we all attended primary school. We sang these songs in the playground, after school, on school buses and on the last day before the holidays. Teachers must have had the patience of a saint back then. :mrgreen: Feel free to add your own; will be interesting to see if American and Kiwi kids are as rude as British kids. Note: Any words/phrases you don't understand, just ask.

~~~

My friend Billy
Had a ten foot willy
He showed it to the girl next door.
She thought it was a snake
And hit it with a rake
Now it's only two foot four.

~~~

(Sung to the theme of "Dallas")

It's true, he's rich
His wife is a bitch
He drives an expensive car
They live in Dallas
They haven't got a palace
That's the end so far.

~~~

(Sung to the theme of "Pretty Woman")

Ugly woman, walking down the street
Ugly woman, girl I'd hate to meet.

(Chorus)
Ugly woman, oh ugly woman, oh yeah.
Oh ugly woman, oh yeah.

Ugly woman, walking down the road
Ugly woman, looking like a toad.

(Chorus)

Ugly woman, outside the pub drinking
Ugly woman, they wouldn't let her in.

(Chorus)

Ugly woman, now she's on the rag
Ugly woman, what a nasty old hag.

(Chorus)

~~~

We break up
We break up
We don't care if the school blows up.
No more English
No more French
No more sitting on the old school bench.

If your teacher interferes
Tie her up and box her ears
If that doesn't serve her right
Blow her up with dynamite.

Teacher teacher I declare
Let me see your underwear
Is it black or is it white
Oh my god it's dynamite.

~~~

(Sung to the tune of "Clementine")

Build a bonfire
Build a bonfire
Put the teachers on the top
Put the headmaster in the middle
And burn the fucking lot.

~~~

Row row row your boat
Gently down the stream
Kick the teacher overboard
And listen for the scream.

~~~

Joy to the world
The school burned down
And all the teachers too
The headmaster is dead
We shot him in the head
and flushed him down the loo
and all the teachers too
and all of this is very true.

~~~

Tar ra ra boom di yay
I met the boy next door
He gave me fifty pee
To go behind a tree
And do the one two three.

Tar ra ra boom di yay
My mother was surprised
When she saw my belly rise
My father jumped for joy
It was a baby boy.

~~~

There she was just a-walkin' down the street, singing
"Do what daddy did to mummy to get me"
Singing number one and the story's just begun, singing
"Do what daddy did to mummy to get me"
Singing number two and I'm telling it to you, singing
"Do what daddy did to mummy to get me"
Singing number three like she's telling it to me, singing
"Do what daddy did to mummy to get me"
Singing number four and he's got her on the floor, singing
"Do what daddy did to mummy to get me"
Singing number five and her legs are open wide, singing
"Do what daddy did to mummy to get me"
Singing number six and they're pulling down their knicks, singing
"Do what daddy did to mummy to get me"
Singing number seven and they're fucking up to heaven, singing
"Do what daddy did to mummy to get me"
Singing number eight and the midwife's at the gate, singing
"Do what daddy did to mummy to get me"
Singing number nine and the baby's doing fine, singing
"Do what daddy did to mummy to get me"
Singing number ten and they're doing it all again, singing
"Do what daddy did to mummy to get me."

~~~

Do your boobs hang low
Do they wobble to and fro
Can you tie them in a knot
Can you tie them in a bow
Can you toss them over your shoulder
Like a regimental soldier
Do your boobs hang low?

~~~

(Sung to the tune of "My Eyes Have Seen The Glory")

He jumped from forty thousand feet without a parachute
He jumped from forty thousand feet without a parachute
He jumped from forty thousand feet without a parachute
And he ain't gonna jump no more.

(Chorus)
Glory, glory what a hell of a way to die
Hanging from his braces with his feet up in the sky
Glory, glory what a hell of a way to die
And he ain't gonna jump no more.

They said he hit the tarmac like a lump of strawberry jam
They said he hit the tarmac like a lump of strawberry jam
They said he hit the tarmac like a lump of strawberry jam
And he ain't gonna jump no more.

(Chorus)

They scraped him off the runway with a rusty butter knife
They scraped him off the runway with a rusty butter knife
They scraped him off the runway with a rusty butter knife
And he ain't gonna jump no more.

(Chorus)

They went and told his mother and she laughed and jumped for joy
They went and told his mother and she laughed and jumped for joy
They went and told his mother and she laughed and jumped for joy
And he ain't gonna jump no more.

(Chorus)

She put him on the mantelpiece for everyone to see
She put him on the mantelpiece for everyone to see
She put him on the mantelpiece for everyone to see
And he ain't gonna jump no more.

(Chorus)

He went all green and mouldy so she chucked him in the bin
He went all green and mouldy so she chucked him in the bin
He went all green and mouldy so she chucked him in the bin
And he ain't gonna jump no more.

(Chorus)

~~~


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This year, I'm going to join our American cousins and celebrate Thanksgiving the old fashioned way. By which I mean I'm going to invite all my neighbours round for an enormous feast, kill them all and then take their land.

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RIP Rocker And Legend. 1974 - 2008. Friend And Karaoke King.
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actifzoe
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Re: Songs from the school yard

Postby actifzoe » Sat Apr 22, 2017 7:43 pm

definitely sang the boobs song :mrgreen:

--------------------------------------------------------------

every time we had a fire drill at school as we walked outside in a single file each one of use would sing this song softly:
(sung to battle hymn of the republic) (same as my my eyes have seen the glory)

mine eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the school
we've torn up all our homework and have broken all the rules
we tied up all the teachers and the principal
our school is burning down.

:thumbs:
the key to happiness is to stop giving a fuck.
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Re: Songs from the school yard

Postby The Anti-Crisst » Sun Apr 23, 2017 3:52 pm

Whenever there was a fire drill at my primary school, it always took up half the day. Partly cuz the teachers always stretched it out to make their jobs easier, partly cuz we were all a bunch of badly behaved brats who'd take ages getting into line. XD The song we sang was called "The Quartermaster's Stores", chosen cuz it had a lot of verses. (posted below) It annoyed the teachers to death for the simple reason that when we ran out of verses, we'd make up new ones using our and the teacher's names. XD But they couldn't stop us cuz the song contained no swears.

~~~

There are snakes, snakes,
Big as garden rakes,
In the store! In the store!
There are snakes, snakes,
Big as garden rakes, in the Quartermaster's store.

Chorus
My eyes are dim I cannot see.
I left my specs in the lavatory.
I have not got my specs with me.

There are mice, mice,
Running though the rice,
In the store! In the store!
There are mice, mice,
Running through the rice, in the Quartermaster's store.

Chorus

Continue with each of the following:
3. lice - living on the mice.
4. rats - big as alley cats.
5. roaches - big as football coaches
6. dogs - big as bloody hogs
7. cats - laying around on mats
8. bears - but no one really cares
9. beavers - with little meat cleavers
10. foxes - stuffed in little boxes

~~~

And after, verses like this:

There was Pete, Pete,
Rocking to the beat,
In the store! In the store!
There was Pete, Pete,
Rocking to the beat, in the Quartermaster's store.

You can see why the teachers always dreaded fire drills. :lol1
Image

Image

This year, I'm going to join our American cousins and celebrate Thanksgiving the old fashioned way. By which I mean I'm going to invite all my neighbours round for an enormous feast, kill them all and then take their land.

ImageImageImage

RIP Rocker And Legend. 1974 - 2008. Friend And Karaoke King.
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actifzoe
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Re: Songs from the school yard

Postby actifzoe » Sun Apr 23, 2017 7:15 pm

:bahaa :bahaa
the key to happiness is to stop giving a fuck.

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