Funny Song Lyrics

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cycleace
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Funny Song Lyrics

Postby cycleace » Sun Jun 07, 2009 6:32 pm

Mojo Nixon

Tie My Pecker To My Leg



Me yer momma and some other whore
Floatin' down the river on a shithouse door
gonna tie my pecker to my leg, to my leg
gonna tie my pecker to my leg

Dad's going steady with a pig in a barn
Grandma's gettin' down with an ear of corn
gonna tie my pecker to my leg, to my leg
gonna tie my pecker to my leg

Watching mom shave her pussy really gets the kids hard
Grandpa's trying to fuck somethin in the front yard
gonna tie my pecker to my leg, to my leg
gonna tie my pecker to my leg

Sister is gettin rich on her 900 number
Four dime diddly bop given her best dog a hummer
gonna tie my pecker to my leg, to my leg
gonna tie my pecker to my leg

(Solo)

Well I'm a big dick daddy and a fuckin foo
Eleven years old and I went to pussy school
gonna tie my pecker to my leg, to my leg
gonna tie my pecker to my leg

Yeah, her asshole is tighter then a steel drum
Hell Id' eat a yard of shit to watch her cum
gonna tie my pecker to my leg, to my leg
gonna tie my pecker to my leg

(Solo)

You only live once, so off with them pants
Hell aint for sure, it's only a chance
gonna tie my pecker to my leg, to my leg
gonna tie my pecker to my leg

Yeah, my gal's so fine, wanna suck her daddy's dick
If you saw my poon tang's face, you wouldn't give me no lip
gonna tie my pecker to my leg, to my leg
gonna tie my pecker to my leg

Woke up this morning with a case of stinky finger
Last night I must have been the designated drinker
gonna tie my pecker to my leg, to my leg
gonna tie my pecker to my leg

I need a woman six foot ten
She's gotta be that tall so I could get it all in
gonna tie my pecker to my leg, to my leg
gonna tie my pecker to my leg

(Everybody Solo)

Yeah, me yer momma and some other whore
Floatin' down the river on a shit house door
gonna tie my pecker to my leg, to my leg
gonna tie my pecker to my leg

I'm gonna tie my pecker
tie my pecker
tie my pecker
tie my pecker
gonna tie my pecker to my leg


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actifzoe
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Re: Funny Song Lyrics

Postby actifzoe » Sun Jun 07, 2009 8:15 pm

ya can't beat this classic.....

Big Balls
AC/DC

I'm ever upper class high society,
God's gift to ballroom notoriety,
I always fill my ballroom
(The event is never small)
The social pages say I've got
The biggest balls of all
Oh I've got big balls
I've got big balls
And they're such big balls
Dirty big balls
And he's got big balls
And she's got big balls
But we've got the biggest balls of them all
And my balls are always bouncing
My ballroom always full
And everybody cums and cums again
If your name is on the guest list
No-one can take you higher
Everybody says I've got
GREAT BALLS OF FIRE
Oh I've got big balls
repeat
Some balls are held for charity
And some for fancy dress
But when they're held for pleasure
They're the balls that I like best.
My balls are always bouncing
To the left and to the right
It's my belief that my big balls
Should be held every night
Oh I've got big balls
repeat
And I'm just itching to tell you about them
Oh we had such wonderful fun
Seafood cocktail, crabs, crayfish...
Ball sucker
the key to happiness is to stop giving a fuck.
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actifzoe
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Re: Funny Song Lyrics

Postby actifzoe » Wed Jun 10, 2009 8:25 pm

but this was the one I was looking for:

Artist: King Missile
Song: Detatchable Penis

Lyrics :

I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again.
This happens all the time.
It's detachable.

[background singing begins: "detachable penis" over and over]

This comes in handy a lot of the time.
I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble,
or I can rent it out, when I don't need it.
But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,
and the next morning I can't for the life of me
remember what I did with it.
First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it.
So I called up the place where the party was,
they hadn't seen it either.
I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
'cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
But not this time.
So I told them if it pops up to let me know.
I called a few people who were at the party,
but they were no help either.
I was starting to get desperate.
I really don't like being without my penis for too long.
It makes me feel like less of a man,
and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.
After a few hours of searching the house,
and calling everyone I could think of,
I was starting to get very depressed,
so I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast.
Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place,
where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street,
I saw my penis lying on a blanket
next to a broken toaster oven.
Some guy was selling it.
I had to buy it off him.
He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen.
I took it home, washed it off,
and put it back on. I was happy again. Complete.
People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached,
but I don't know.
Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass,
I like having a detachable penis.
the key to happiness is to stop giving a fuck.
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cycleace
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Location: a barn

Re: Funny Song Lyrics

Postby cycleace » Thu Jun 11, 2009 7:47 pm

^^^ I remember that one !

Ha ! Ha !  8)
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cycleace
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Re: Funny Song Lyrics

Postby cycleace » Thu Jun 11, 2009 8:00 pm

Primus - Wynona's Big Brown Beaver



Wynona's got herself a big brown beaver
and she shows it off to all her friends.
One day, you know, that beaver tried to leave her,
So she caged him up with cyclone fence.
Along came Lou with the old baboon
And said "Recognize that smell?"
"Smells like seven layers,
That beaver eats Taco Bell."
Now Rex he was a Texan out of New Orleans
And he travelled with the carnival shows.
He ran bumper cars, sucked cheap cigars
And he candied up his nose.
He got wind of the big brown beaver
So he though he'd take himself a peek,
But the beaver was quick
And grabbed him by the kiwis.
Now he ain't pissed for a week.
(And a half!)
Now Wynona took her big brown beaver,
And she stuck him up in the air.
Said "I sure do love this big brown beaver
And I wish I did have a pair."
Now the beaver onces slept for seven days
And it gave us all an awful fright.
So I tickled his chin and I gave him a pinch
And the bastard tried to bite me.
Wynona loved her big brown beaver
And she stroked him all the time.
She pricked her finger one day and it
Occurred to her she might have a porcupine.

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